A ticklish subject
by PinkyNoBrains
Summary: Hidan does his own pedicure for a reason. KakuHida tickle fluff. Rated M because of the swearing from you-know-who.


**DISCLAIMER: Kakuzu and Hidan belong to Masashi Kishimoto.**

"How haven't I noticed that before? That's ghastly, un..." Deidara scrunched up his nose at the sight.

"What a big mess." Itachi replied, shaking his head slowly. "He's helpless."

Both were in Hidan's and Kakuzu's shared room, sitting on Kakuzu's bed, watching Hidan, who was sitting on his own bed, carelessly polishing his toenails. Wait, he wasn't polishing them. He was more like... smearing them with greenish black nail polish. A work of art? Not in Deidara's opinion.

"Hidan, you're painting your toes, you can't do anything right, un... Are you nearsighted or something?"

"Tch... Fuck you.", said the albino, without looking at the blond, trying to finish his work. "It's not so bad..."

"But what are you going to do with the rest of the nail polish that isn't on your toenails?" Itachi was skeptical.

"It's so fucking simple! I'll fucking remove the excess!" Hidan snapped, finding his own answer too obvious. "Seriously, guys..."

"Me and Itachi could help you, just look at this, un." The blonde showed his hands, with impeccably painted nails; Itachi's nails were carefully polished as well.

"NO! I don't need your fucking help, I can do things myself, bitches." The silver-haired man growled, oblivious to the fact that Kakuzu was leaning on the doorway, watching the scene.

"What is going on here, boys?" Itachi pointed at the zealot.

"He doesn't want us to help him polishing his toenails..." Deidara nodded in confirmation.

"And look at the half-assed job he's doing, un!" The stitched man approached Hidan, so he could have a better look at his lover's mess. He was appalled.

"Is he... wasting nail polish? Those things don't grow on trees, you know, Hidan? They cost money!" Kakuzu frowned while giving the albino a lecture.

"Yeah, yeah, don't give me that shit again, Kakuzu." Hidan complained, finishing his job.

"Well, if you ever need my help, you know where to find me... Later, un.", said Deidara, jumping from the bed and leaving.

"See you." Itachi left, too. Kakuzu nodded and closed the door behind him.

"So..." He said, with his hands on his hips. "You just painted your feet. How are you going to fix that, may I ask, you fucked up Rembrandt?"

Hidan sighed. "Kuzu, do I have to fucking explain things over and over again? I'll use the fucking remover, duh!"

"I see... Wasting the remover, too. That does it." The miser sat beside Hidan and got hold on his legs. Said Jashinist yelped.

"Oi, Kakuzu, leave me alone, I don't need any help!" The ex-Waterfall nin placed Hidan's feet together on his lap, grabbed a cotton swab and dunked it in the bottle of remover.

"Yes, you do, so shut up, Hidan, we're beginning from scratch. I'm going to do your toenails, but first let's clean this crap up." Kakuzu proceeded to hold Hidan's left foot with one hand and to scrape the nail polish from his toes with the other. The albino pouted.

"Aw, you asshole, you're ruining everything..." Suddenly, he gasps and jumps a little. The miser was scrubbing inbetween his toes.

"F-fucker... I c-can do it m-myself..." The zealot tried to kick his feet, but Kakuzu held them securely with his tendrils.

"What's up with the stuttering?" Kakuzu asked, calmly, without looking at Hidan.

"I'm not f-fucking stuttering!", snapped Hidan, glaring and slapping the back of his partner's head in annoyance.

"Hmph..." Kakuzu kept rubbing his boyfriend's toes with the cotton swab. The albino bit his lower lip, holding what seemed to be a chuckle, and blushed like hell. It was real torture for Hidan, he used to do his own pedicure because he didn't want anyone to know his feet were awfully ticklish.

"Oh f-fuck..." Hidan grabbed a pillow to hide his grin from Kakuzu, who turned around to see what was going on.

"Hidan, why are you covering your face with a pillow?", asked the miser, who started to clean up the right foot.

"Shut the f-fuck up, I'm trying to s-sleep." Hidan mentally cursed his own inability to tell a decent lie.

After a couple of minutes of scrubbing, gasping, fidgeting, stuttering, blushing and grinning, the cleaning up process was over. Hidan let out a sigh of relief, smiling and patting Kakuzu's back lovingly and trying to remove his feet from his lap.

"Thanks, Kakuzu-chan, I'll take it from here." Now it was time for Kakuzu to send Hidan a glare.

"No, sir, you won't. Stay quiet, I'm going to paint your toenails, let me show you how to do that properly." The miser opened the bottle of nail polish (which was held by a tendril) with one hand, while the other was firmly holding Hidan's left foot.

"But, Kuzu..." Hidan whined, while Kakuzu started to paint one toenail carefully.

"Don't 'Kuzu' me now. And stop wiggling your toes, will you?" Kakuzu had to get hold of one toe to keep it from wiggling while getting polished. That made Hidan jump a little, but the softness of his lovely miser's hand kind of soothed him. He wasn't so tense; the soft touches made him relax and close his eyes. Another couple of minutes have passed, and Kakuzu's job on Hidan's left foot was done; he blew softly on the toes, so the nail polish could dry. The stitched nin couldn't help but gaze at his lover's feet with endearment; he couldn't have enough of that beautiful, smooth and milky skin. The zealot was and would always be picture perfect for him.

"Nice work, dumbass..." Hidan smiled warmly, clearly praising Kakuzu's skills. "Now, would you mind letting my fucking feet go?"

Kakuzu, absent-mindedly, started to softly rub the back of his index finger up and down the bottom of Hidan's left foot. The Jashinist blushed instantly and yelled, curling his toes.

"S-STOP DOING THAT, K-KAKUZU!" The miser raised an eyebrow and turned his gaze to Hidan, who was hardly disguising a grin.

"What? Stop doing what?" Kakuzu seemed a little bit confused.

"N-nothing!" Hidan blushed more and looked away, trying to hide the smile that insisted on playing upon his lips.

"Hidan..." Kakuzu smirked lightly. "Are your feet... ticklish?" His hand was still holding the albino's left foot. Hidan twitched and shook his head nervously.

"I'm not fucking ticklish, you..." The Jashinist couldn't finish, for the miser started to brush his fingers all over the sole of his foot. Hidan fidgeted, he let out a snort and a giggle, and then a hearty laughter, just like his maniacal laughter when he's doing his Curse Technique.

"AAAH, F-FUCKING STOP, GYAHAHAHAHAHAAA KUZUUU! HEEHEEHAHAHAHAHA! THAT FUCKING T-TICKLES!" Hidan thrashed and tried to punch his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Oh? So you are ticklish on your feet, aren't you, Hidan?" Kakuzu teased Hidan even more, digging his fingers on the bottom of the silver-haired man's foot. "I have to admit, you're too cute when you giggle..."

"GYAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEHEEHEE! I'M NOT F-FUCKING CUTE, I'M G-GORGEOUS HYAHAHAHAHAHAA..." Hidan laughed raucously, his body shaking from all the teasing.

Kakuzu chuckled as he saw his beloved priest being reduced to a squirming and flailing gigglebox. He let a thin tendril snake inbetween Hidan's toes, causing the albino to go berserk and swear with all his evil heart.

"AAHAAH YOU MOTHERFUCKER HAHAHAHAHAHA, YOU S-SON OF A BITCH, GYAAAHAHAHAHAHA, I'LL S-SACRIFICE YOUR MISERABLE ASS TO J-JASHIN-SAMAAAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..."

"All right, all right, no need to get all fussy!" Kakuzu smiled and let go of Hidan's feet. "I'm sorry, Hidan, I couldn't resist." His silver-haired partner was gasping for air, panting heavily and having some spasms from all the laughter. Strangely, he felt kind of happy and carefree.

"Heehee... K-Kuzu, heehee... You ass... You... Hahaha... I hate you, heeheehee..." He said, between soft giggles. Kakuzu leaned on Hidan to gaze at his teary purple eyes.

"Do you, really?" He gave a brief tickle on Hidan's sides, making the albino guffaw and arch his back.

"GYAHAHAHAHAHAA! OF C-COURSE NOT, YOU BASTARD!"

After giving Hidan a soft, long and warm kiss, Kakuzu stood on his feet and proceeded to leave the room, only to be stopped by a hand that was pulling on his shirt.

"And what the fuck do you think you're doing, Kuzu?", asked Hidan, pouting cutely.

"I'm doing what you've asked me before... I'm leaving you alone." Kakuzu shrugged. Hidan grinned mischievously and lift his right foot, wiggling his toes and cooing, in a singsong voice.

"You forgot to do _these_ toenails, Kakuzu-chan..." At the display of cuteness, Kakuzu just blushed, smirked and said:

"How silly of me..." And he sat again on Hidan's bed, getting hold of his forever masochist partner's right foot.

Deidara, in the room he shared with Sasori, could hear all the crazy laughter (intertwined with the usual swearing) that was coming from Hidan in the other room and sighed, looking at the bored redhead:

"Why don't we do that once in a while, Danna?"


End file.
